


Potions

by wifebeast__s



Series: Mer de Noms [1]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Backstory, Brief suicidal thoughts, Consensual, F/M, I cried writing this, Love Story, Meeting Nate, Sexual Content, So much angst, SoSu Dani, Underage Sex, and sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 22:35:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8031589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wifebeast__s/pseuds/wifebeast__s
Summary: Dani met Nate when she was 10, and she knew then that they were meant to be together. Their life wasn't always easy, but they lived it together. At least, that is, until it was all taken away.
You've seen Dani rise from the ashes, now you can see the fire!





	1. Someone sang your name today

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story in like 2 sittings, and I'm just posting it all at once because why not?
> 
> The title comes from the Puscifer song, which I think pretty much sums up Dani's story. This is kind of an extended prologue to my upcoming series of one-shots and shorter fics about her.

Dani was ten when she met Nate – her, dirt-smeared and bruised on the stoop in front of her shitty apartment building, and him holding his fist close to his chest after punching the lights out of the kid who had tried to drag her into the alley. It had all happened so fast; the kid had demanded her plastic watch, she refused, he sneered and said he'd rip it off of her after he broke her wrist. Nate had walked up, silent and imposing, ripping her free from the grip of the other boy and punching him again and again.

She was shaking, though with fear or anger, she wasn't even sure. As the haze cleared, she studied the young man that had stepped in on her behalf. He was taller than her, looked a little older, and certainly harder. She recognized him in that vague way that anyone in these types of neighborhoods recognized one another. 

“Dani, right?” he asked, his voice very nearly cracking.

“Yes,” she muttered, “and you're...Nate.”

He offered his non-bruised hand, and she shook it, sighing and offering a small, “Thanks.”

“No problem, Dani. That guy's a prick. I don't think he'll be around again.”

She smiled, “Not after that scuffle, no I don't think so.”

He looked around – as if this shitty street was any different from the other shitty streets that made up the area, “You wanna get out of here for a while?”

She nodded, looked over her shoulder for a second. Her mom had passed out an hour ago, but she'd likely be out the rest of the day anyway. And her dad wouldn't be home until late. If she got back before it got too dark, she could probably lock herself and her sister in the bathroom before he did. And anyway it was usually best not to stick around until the person who just had his lights punched out woke.

Dani pushed herself off the steps and stepped down onto even footing with Nate. He was taller than her, bulkier, and she felt her heart skip a beat, as she trailed behind him, heading out of the neighborhood. He wore jeans and an undershirt, and he wasn't a man yet, but he had muscles, and she could see them. She wasn't a woman, either, but she knew about boys and girls and men and women, and she knew that he was the kind of boy she liked.

They talked along the way. He was 13. His dad died a long time ago, so it was just him and his mom. He was starting high school next year, but he wasn't worried because he was big for his age, and he had started boxing when he was little. His mom worked at the university; she didn't make a lot of money, but they lived on the outskirts of the neighborhood, and they had a two bedroom apartment. 

She didn't have much to share. Her dad worked in the fish packing plant. Her mom didn't work. Her sister spent a lot of time at their neighbor's house. No, she didn't want to talk about what happened earlier. Yes, she was fine. Yes, she would love to be friends.

“You know you can tell me stuff, and I'm not gonna tell anyone else,” he assured her over his shoulder.

“Yeah, it's just...it's...you know, it's private.”

He slowed his pace to let her catch up, “Well, you don't have to worry about Danny or any of his friends coming back, right? I'll protect you.”

She smiled, but a whisper of suspicion rang through her. What would he want in return? Nothing in this world was given freely.

“What do you want from me, then?”

He blinked, “What? No...nothing. I just hate that kid. I was happy to do it.”

“Ok,” she said, but she assumed she'd have to do something for him later.

He bought her ice cream, and he didn't say anything when she furiously wiped her eyes to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks. It was chocolate, and it threatened to melt all over her hand, but she licked it off her fingers, and he laughed and told her she looked like a puppy. She laughed, too, at that.

They went down by the water, and he taught her how to skip rocks.

“No, Dani, you gotta,” he demonstrated again, “see? You flick your wrist, otherwise it just-”

She tried again, and the rock made a splash in the water.

“Otherwise it just does that,” he finished with a grin.

She never managed to skip the damn rock, but she smiled and laughed, and by the end of the day, she forgot to be suspicious, forgot to wonder what he might expect in return. He didn't seem to expect anything from her at all. He just tried to make her laugh, and when she did, he lit up.

That night, when he dropped her safely back at her house, he asked if she could help him with his math homework because, yeah, he had heard about how smart she was. It wasn't a secret. And she should maybe keep it one, since that was why everyone picked on her. So that was what he wanted from her. A little part of her was disappointed.

“I can help you,” she agreed, “but, um, would you teach me how to fight?”

He smiled broadly, “Definitely. Plus we'll bulk you up some. You're scrawny.”

She stuck out her tongue, but it was followed by a giggle. 

They sealed the deal with a handshake, and maybe she imagined it, but the stars aligned that night, and she knew she was never going to look back on the time before Nate.


	2. A kiss to build a dream on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani and Nate have their first kiss

She was 13 the first time they kissed. It was soft and quick – nothing like she'd seen in the movies. 

They had finished his math homework, which was always like pulling teeth. They did the same thing every night; homework first, then he would teach her self defense. He much preferred sparring and grappling, so it was his reward for finishing his work. He was smart, Dani knew. He just didn't apply himself. It was frustrating, but she understood. And in her eyes, he could do no wrong.

They practiced in the park, the only place other than the local boxing gyms where they had at least a kind of soft landing spot in the mulch around the swing sets. 

Punching was the first thing she learned – using her hips to drive the force. Punching she was good at. Then she had to learn how to take a hit, but that was more difficult because Nate never really hit her. Kicking after that, then learning how to fall.

After she learned how to fall, how to land without hurting herself, grappling was the logical next step. She was surprisingly good at it; Nate said it was because she was short, she had a low center of gravity that made it easy for her to fight low to the ground. She pointed out that his knowledge of physics when it came to fighting could be applied elsewhere. He flipped her onto her back and pinned her.

But that was then, and she had improved tremendously. She was able to toss him around now, having built muscle, as well as skill. 

She never had to use it, though. No one had bothered her since she and Nate became close. Everyone in the neighborhood knew that they were friends, that to mess with Dani meant to tango with Nate and no one wanted that. Nate was built like a tank, big and strong, and unafraid of standing up to those bigger than him. 

And through it all, she was there, tending to his wounds after or covering for him when authorities became involved. She was a bright young student, and everyone knew about her living situation. She had been dealt a shitty hand in life, and adults in her life tried to make up for it where they could. 

Besides, Nate wasn't a bad guy. Not really. If anything, she was the bad influence, sneaking into places, picking locks, stealing food. He never scolded her. He really didn't care, just worried about her safety.

That night, the night he kissed her, had seemed like any other night.

He had pinned her, and she had flipped them. She didn't think about it, just did it. She was straddling him, laughing and celebrating her victory when his hands shot up, faster than she could block. But she didn't have to. The lesson was over. At least that lesson.

He cupped her cheeks and sat up, touching his lips against hers softly. He didn't press her further – didn't open his mouth or force hers opened. 

She blushed.

“I hope...I hope that's ok,” he muttered, looking away.

She blushed harder and nodded. When he still seemed to shy away from her, she reciprocated, planting a soft kiss on his lips, too.

When he looked at her again, he was smiling. He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs gently and pressed his forehead against hers. And just like, the stars aligned again.

Someone must have seen. And if someone saw in their neighborhood, then everyone knew. In that vague way that everyone knew everyone's business in their kind of neighborhood. So word traveled – largely ignored because no on was really surprised. Well, most people weren't.

When Dani got home, her mom yelled at her, warned her about what would happen.

“I fucked your dad when I was just a year older than you, and then that was it. No getting away then. And you came two years later, and look at my fucking life now. You want this? You're smarter than this.”

“I didn't do anything.”

“Don't give me that. Mrs. Cochran saw it, and now news is everywhere. Your dad is going to hear about it, too.”

“But I didn't -”

“Look at me, Dani. Look at this life. You think I wanted to push out the two of you, bring you or your sister into this rotten world? I'm telling you, boys like him have only one aim, and that's to stick it in you. They don't give a shit if you get knocked up. And I'll tell you this right now, you won't get no help from me.”

Dani had cried in the bathroom and forgot to lock the door that night. And yes, her dad had heard.

They didn't kiss again that week, but it was as much to do with the swelling in her jaw as it was her nervousness.


	3. I want you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani and Nate explore the physical aspects of their relationship.

Despite her mother's warnings and her father's brutality, Dani slept with him when she was 15 (and 5 months!), just before he turned 18 and it would be more dangerous for them to do. At least legally speaking. 

He had grown into an exceptionally attractive young man – broad shoulders, muscled arms, toned abdomen. His legs were powerful, and his back...oh, she remembered the first time she had realized she had a thing for backs. She had seen him shirtless plenty of times, but by the time he hit 17, he had put enough time in at the gym to be sinful. Her mouth had dropped open, and when he asked what was wrong, she just shook her head. So he kissed her, and that hadn't helped at all.

She was the one to suggest it.

“I really, really want to, Nate.”

“Dani...you know I would love to. I just don't want you to feel pressured.”

“Have you seen yourself in the mirror? Shit, I want you so bad.”

When she told him what she did sometimes in the shower – the only time she was alone long enough – he had groaned and agreed quickly.

She didn't know what to expect when she knocked on the door to the apartment. She had been there before – unlike her place, Nate's apartment was always clean and warm and welcoming. His mother loved Dani and often told her to stay there, instead of going home, especially when the bruises were visible. But Dani knew better, and really so did she.

But his mom wasn't home that day, working a double shift.

Nate made dinner – just canned soup that he heated for them, but Dani thought it was the sweetest thing. She kissed him, by way of thanks, and his hands found her hips – round and fuller since she'd hit puberty already.

“You might bleed,” he murmured, as he draped a blanket over the couch, and she nodded, lying back against the soft cushions.

He hovered above her, whispered that he would never hurt her, not if she didn't want it, that he loved her, would always love her, always protect her.

It burned, pinched, and then she muffled her cry in his shoulder when she felt a sharp pain inside. She didn't cry; the pain wasn't as bad as other pain she'd experienced, and besides, so many girls she knew had it worse. She was able to dictate this moment, when in her neighborhood, that usually wasn't the case.

Wrapped in Nate's arms, she felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

It didn't last long, and she didn't bleed – at least not a lot. Nate pulled out, cumming into his hand, giving her a lopsided grin, “Don't think we need any little Dani-Nates running around. You've gotta knock Rebecca Graham out of the valedictorian spot.”

She giggled at that and kissed him again.

When she went home, she felt different. She thought for sure that her mom would be able to tell. Part of her hoped. But as usual, her mom was on the couch, pupils blown and eyes glazed over. So she cooked a second dinner for herself and her sister and said nothing, smiling privately to herself. She was different, she knew, and she never had to go back to who she was before.

The next time didn't hurt so much; the third time hurt even less. By the fourth time, she found herself writhing beneath him and chasing some distant feeling that was deep inside her, wanting to get out.

He went down on her for the first time just before their seventh time. His tongue was strong, wet, and eager, if not practiced. He pressed it against her clit, made circles around it, then pushed his fingers inside her, and she found that feeling she had been chasing. It had her arching up beneath him, and when he sat up, his lips and chin were wet.

She blushed, “Oh, um, sorry.”

“Jesus, you are beautiful, Dani,” he had murmured, sliding up to tangle his fingers in her hair and kiss her. She tasted herself – nothing special to her, but he told her it was sweeter than honey.

She returned the favor a few weeks later. She would have done it sooner, but she had no idea where to start. She had one girl friend – only one, Jess. And Jess definitely knew her way around a cock.

Dani went to Jess's apartment one evening after stealing a cucumber from the local grocer. Jess had showed her what to do with her tongue, how to tuck her lips around her teeth or, if she felt daring, how to use them the right way. She told Dani that when she was ready, she could play with his balls to really drive him wild.

Jess had been right. 

Dani swirled her tongue around the tip, teased with her teeth, hollowed her cheeks, took him as far as she could – until tears sprang into her eyes – and then she licked from his balls back up. When she took him in her mouth again, he grunted something that may have been “shit” before she felt something hot and wet spurt into her mouth.

It did not taste sweeter than honey, but she didn't tell him that.

“I love you,” he whispered into her hair after.

“You're just saying that because I gave you a blow job.”

“Shut up, weirdo. You know I mean it.”

“I love you, too, Nate.”

“You and me, Dani.”

“You and me.”


	4. Always come back to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate joins the army, and Dani takes a stand.

He had a job, but crawling out of the projects was damn near impossible. He wanted to get his own place, so Dani could join him, get the fuck out of that hole that she had grown up in. She deserved better, he would tell her. 

It was just hard, and he hadn't worked as hard in school as she did. He was smart, sure, but he also felt responsible for her mom and had dropped out to help pay the bills as soon as he could. And it hadn't done him any favors. 

He refused to work in the fish packing plant, convinced that if he saw Dani's father, he would get into a fight and end up in jail. 

He almost ended up there anyway. His options became more limited.

Dani was 17 when he enlisted. She cried, and he held her and told her that it was the best way for him to make enough money to get her out. He would be back; he wouldn't forget her because she was his whole world, and he loved her more than life itself.

She believed him, but all she could think about were the reports about Alaska, the parades that they had in the streets with the soldiers marching away. How many of them hadn't come back?

She had to sneak out the night before he left. Her mom was out cold, and her dad had decided to go to the bar. She would have gone anyway.

He met her on the fire escape. They kissed all the way up to the roof, where she had stored some blankets and candles. He lit the candles, and she stripped down. He touched her so gently, so reverently, that she was able to blame her tears on that.

“I will take this image of you with me,” he had whispered, just before pushing into her, brushing hair out of her face, “beautiful Dani in the candlelight.”

She stifled her moans, her whimpers, in his neck, and he didn't mention the salty moisture left there, either. Just dug his fingers through her hair, kissing her where he could, and pledging to love her always, always, always. He would be back. 

He held her for as long as he could before pulling away, “I gotta get to the bus stop, baby.”

She nodded, kissing him again and again, whispering, “Come back to me,” over and over, as if saying it would ensure his safety. As though her words alone might be more powerful than the power armor that they gave to the best soldiers. She had no doubt he would be one of the best, but that only fed her fear.

He looked back when he was at the end of the block, before turning the corner and disappearing. She went back inside to find her father was home, and he was angry.

But she was done; she had reached the end of her rope. 

When he lifted his hand, meaty fingers curled into a fist, she pulled a knife, swiping near-blind, a frantic attempt to block. The blade sank in, leaving a gash in his arm, even nicking his face. He roared in anger, but she sidestepped his clumsy attack, pointing the knife steadily at him.

“Don't you _fucking_ touch me,” she whispered, tears still stinging her eyes, the vision of Nate turning that corner fresh in her mind. 

“Never again,” she said, more firmly.

He crumpled before her wrath and backed away, then out the door. 

When he was gone, she fell against the door, sliding to the floor in a fit of tears. She waited for the cops to come, or worse. Someone. Anyone. Spent the night on edge, wondering when they would pound on the door or just come in and slit her throat. No one came that night. Or the night after.

Her father didn't even come back for days, and when he did, he skirted around Dani. Not that it mattered. She really was done. With school nearly ending, and Nate's mother now alone, she had a place that she could call home, if she wanted.

Dani packed her meager belongings and carried them to Nate's. His mother opened the door and burst into tears upon seeing her, tugging her inside and holding her in a fierce embrace. She didn't know how long they cried, just that she felt emptier and somehow stronger after.

She stayed there the remainder of the year, and she and his mother took care of each other. They took turns cooking or cleaning, while the other sat in Nate's room, smelling his shirts or praying to gods they didn't believe in to bring him home safe. 

Dani wished to see him every night, and only after she received a letter from him did she spend the night thinking of him and touching herself. He was alive; he was thinking of her, bathed in candlelight and arching against him.

She graduated near the top of her class, and somehow Nate made it to her graduation, standing in the back in his dress blues. She shrieked and cried and ran to him, jumping into his arms, wrapping around him and holding him tight. He held her tightly, turning her around in his arms, kissing her neck.

“I'm so proud of you, baby,” he whispered in her ear, and she cried just like the day they met.


	5. In service to one another

She joined the army because it was the easiest way to follow him. There was never a question that they would be together, so they got married as soon as she was 18. It was just the two of them, his mom, and the judge at the courthouse. They couldn't afford rings, so his mom gave them hers and his father's. Dani tried to refuse, but she wouldn't have it.

Dani's family found out with the rest of the neighborhood, through the tiny announcement in the newspaper and word of mouth. They didn't hear anything from them, and that suited her fine.

Basic saw them separated again. They expected it. But Dani got through because she knew Nate had done it, come through the other side with a new kind of strength and dignity. It didn't have the same miracle effect on her, but she _did_ make it, and it was in no small way thanks to him. 

After that, they were sent to the same base, but Nate was infantry, and that meant deployments. It got easier, each time, but the ache never really went away when he was gone.

When they were together, it was like they were back home. They fucked on every possible surface in their tiny house on base – the bed, the counters, the sink in the bathroom, the shower, the floor, the coffee table...and even places outside of their house.

Her personal favorite had been during a formal event. They were both in their dress blues, but given the occasion, she was in a skirt. He had just gotten off another 6 month stint, and they had barely had any time _together_. The speech was dragging on, and more than a few people were shifting uncomfortably or sharing bored looks.

He cleared his throat, leaned over, whispering in her ear, “Jesus, Dani, your tits look like they are about to bust out of your shirt.”

She had flushed at his words, meeting his eyes.

He continued, “I'm going to have you bent over and my cock in you in five minutes. Just follow my lead.”

Nate had always been fond of dirty talk, especially leading up to the act. And she loved it. She loved hearing how hard he got thinking of her, loved hearing about what he wanted to do to her. She squeezed her thighs together, waiting for his signal.

The signal came as a sudden grab at his head, and a shout. It scared the shit out of her; it also scared everyone around them. 

She took his arm, and with everyone making way for them, she led them down the hall. When they were away from prying eyes, he straightened, shot her a wicked, devilishly handsome grin, then pulled her along into a dark corridor well away from the festivities.

True to his word, it was only a few seconds before her skirt was pushed up, her panties pulled to the side, and he was pushing into her, his hand over her mouth to muffle her whimpers. 

When they returned, the speech was still going on.

Dani felt a little Pavlovian on the days Nate would come home on leave during a deployment. She'd stand by the door, knowing that he would walk in, kick it closed, lift her and pound her into the wall. It took two times before she learned to wear a skirt and no panties, lest everything be destroyed.

But when he was gone, the house was cold. He suggested they get a dog, but they didn't really have the space. So she threw herself into what she had always thrown herself into when she felt unhappy – study. She thought about medicine, but it wasn't exciting for her.

After a few times having to defend herself against accusations (mostly legitimate, but she always got out of it), she decided that she wanted to go into law.

The army, for Dani, was nearly 12 years of drudgery, but she had made it out of hell, so she was grateful. She was respected, despite her undercurrent of insubordination. They put her through law school, and she started her trial career as part of JAG.

She won her first case. And her second. In her tenure, she lost only once. Those that knew Nate compared her ability in the courtroom to that of her husband's on the battlefield. She never cared for the comparison, despite the small sense of pride that bloomed in her each time she heard it.

Her enlistment ended when word reached her that her mother was dying, and her sister was pregnant. She and Nate spent many nights talking about what she should do. 

No, she didn't owe them anything, but the baby shouldn't be responsible for their shortcomings. 

She left with an honorable discharge, which surprised her more than anyone.


	6. Are we doing this?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani and Nate receive the gift of Shaun.

Dani's mom died a few months after she was out. No one was surprised. The woman had lived a hard life, between who she married and the drugs she had poisoned herself with. It fell to Dani to make the arrangements, which she did, souring every time someone offered her condolences.

“She didn't do shit for me,” she told Nate over the phone the day before the funeral, “but everyone expects me to be wailing and sobbing over her death.”

His voice sounded distant, and that made her heart ache more than the stranger in the coffin in town, “They're just reacting the way they're supposed to, baby. You know that. You don't have to cry or wail or put on a show. Just thank them.”

He sounded tired; she told him, and he chuckled, “Been a long day here.”

“I miss you. I wish you were here. You're so much better at this than me.”

“I know, right? I should just put you in a zoo.”

“Shut up.”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

No one came to the funeral. For whatever reason, that was what struck her. She sat alone in the room with the coffin, her face buried in her hands, and her shoulders shaking. She had never felt so alone, the gaping hole that Nate's presence filled growing exponentially. 

Her sister gave birth to a boy, but she made it clear she had no intention of keeping it, turning her face away when the doctor held it up to her.

The nurse frowned and offered it to Dani, who held it awkwardly.

“You gonna name him, at least?”

Her sister turned her head further away.

“Fine. Fuck you.”

It wasn't what Nate would have advised she say, she was certain, but she was angry. She had buried their mother, alone. And now she was holding this infant, crying for something she couldn't give, because her sister was going to be as selfish as their mom.

Months later was when Dani finally understood. Her sister was trying to avoid repeating their mother's mistakes. The guilt settled like a stone in her gut when the realization struck her.

But at the time, it just seemed selfish.

“What will you do with him?” she asked the nurse who took him to press a bottle to his hungry lips. Dani knew, but she couldn't help but ask.

“We'll keep him here for a few days then find him a place in an orphanage. He's cute as a button; I'm sure he'll be swooped up in no time.”

Dani chewed on her lip.

Over the phone, while Nate was in California, they discussed the possibility – did he want children? Dani didn't want to get pregnant, not with her career just getting started as a civilian. Maybe this was a way they could spare their nephew a terrible future and also have a son?

“Are we going to do this?”

“Let's do it.”

“You sure? I won't be home for a couple months.”

“What's the difference? If I had given birth, I'd be cursing your name right now _and_ raising a little raisin on my own,” she argued, and his laughter made it clear that this was something he wanted. She felt herself warming from the inside at the sound.

“We can have our own later,” he promised, his voice husky.

“I'll get the paperwork to you,” she smiled, trying to swallow the heat that rose in her at his tone.

She filed the forms herself. There was a day in court, but there was really no question. She was a blood relative, had served in the army, had a law degree, and her husband had served multiple tours in Alaska. He was a decorated hero, and she was already known at the courthouse. The judge didn't even hear the case. He signed the documents, and it was just a matter of waiting for everything else to fall into place.

A couple days after their anniversary, she picked up the baby from the orphanage. Nate's mother was over the moon. She helped Dani pick out the furniture for the baby's room and all of the necessities.

She had pictures taken that same day – her, the baby, and his mother – and sent them to Nate with a letter describing the infant, that his name was Shaun, that at least he looked like Dani, since he was related. 

He called the day that he got them in the mail, “I love you.”

“Hey, baby,” she murmured back sleepily, rocking Shaun in the chair that his mother had insisted they buy. The woman was a genius and a saint because it was the only way Dani could get a full night of sleep.

“He's beautiful. You're right; he does look like you. I can't wait to get home.”

“Shaun is looking forward to meeting you.”

“You getting any sleep?”

“Mmm. No. And it's all your fault,” she smiled.

“Dani?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you so damn much.”

“I love you, too, baby. I can't wait for you be home again.”

“Soon.”

“I know.”

And after a few months, when Nate was finally granted leave to come home for a while, they were waiting for him, along with a new robot butler – a gift from his mother, despite Dani's protests – with a little “Welcome Home, Daddy” sign. Nate cried, wrapping Dani and Shaun in his arms and kissing them both.


	7. His magical elixir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last time Dani made love to her husband was the night before her world ended.

The last time they made love was the night before the bombs dropped. He had to leave again soon – it always felt like too soon, with the war ongoing and fear rampant in the world. But none of that mattered when he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her tight against him, just as he pressed her into the mattress. 

He had panted in her ear that she was the best fucking thing in his life, that he would do anything for her, that he loved her more than life itself, that he loved her body, wanted her every waking moment, hated being apart from her.

She had raked her nails through his short-cropped hair, kissed him hard, thanked him for everything he had ever done. She was his, forever and ever, and they would get through this war, just like they got through their childhood, and Shaun would live to see a better world, a brighter one.

When she woke the next morning, his arm was draped over her waist, and she didn't think she'd ever been so happy.


	8. Wrap me up to go away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a nightmare.

The sirens were awful. The screams, the desperation. Her heart raced, running hand-in-hand with Nate to the vault, Shaun tucked in his other arm. She had ignored that Vault-Tec rep for days, and now she could have kissed him.

“We're on the list,” she practically screamed, flashing her ID at him.

The soldier scanned the paper in front of him, then nodded, “Got 'em. Right this way.”

There were people outside the gate, as they were ushered in. People screaming to be let in. Nate was close by her side, but he turned to one of the soldiers, “What about all these people?”

He wasn't in uniform – there was nothing to designate his rank, so they were simply pushed along onto the platform.

Some of their neighbors were there, as well, crying and screaming. Nate held Shaun close to him, covering his ears. Their eyes met – Nate gazing into hers, reassuring as ever.

The mushroom cloud was a vision seared forever into her eyes. It loomed far above them, but not so far away. The rush of air from the impact nearly toppled her over. The descent to the Vault was a blur, the only thing grounding her, Nate's hand firmly wrapped around hers, and his voice whispering, “We're ok. It's ok.”

She was useless, just like the other people wandering underground. She moved in a daze, following Nate's strong back – god, she loved his back – to where they needed to go.

“This is our new home, Shaun,” he soothed the baby in his arms. Her heart clenched. They were safe. They were _together_ , and they were safe.

Confusion, his reassuring voice that they should just follow orders, and everything would be ok. She stepped into the decontamination pod across from him. He looked at her, flashing her a heart-stopping smile, and waving Shaun's tiny hand at her. She smiled back, though fear gripped her as the door started to close in front of her.

Then, blessedly, nothing.


	9. Haul my broken heart and shell away

She could have dreamed it – the strange man in dirty leather, the people in strange medical suits. But the sound of the gunshot rang in her ears. Rang and rang and rang. She was helpless, and then, again, nothing.


	10. Begging, bury me beside you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani wakes from her frozen slumber to an even colder reality

When she fell out of the cold pod, lying limp on the ground, she was convinced, at least for a moment, that it had been a dream. Except for the red she saw through the frost of the glass, almost pink in the cold.

“No,” she repeated, a litany, as she forced the pod open, hands trembling and refusing to follow her commands.

Nate was stiff, the blood that had been pumping out frozen against his chest. Fingertips brushed frozen skin. Nearly convulsing, she climbed into the pod, shaking him, tears blurring her vision. She knew; she knew, but she couldn't accept it. She curled against his body, remembering the way his arms would wrap around her in times like this. But they didn't wrap around her. They never would again. So she just held him, praying that she would die. 

But it wasn't in the cards. With choking sobs, she closed the pod again, to preserve him forever, her beautiful Nate – her friend, her husband, her love.

She collapsed against the pod, whispering to him through the glass, “You and me, baby. You and me. You were supposed to wait for me. I love you. I love you so much.”

There was no recourse here. She could go back in the pod, maybe. She could lie in front of his pod and starve to death. It seemed the best option, as she stared at him through the glass. But he wouldn't want that for her. If he were here – he'll never be here again – he would pick her up, dust her off, and tell her that she was stronger than this. She wasn't. He was her strength.

After a while, the body within the pod stopped being Nate. It was her. She wiped her eyes, nodded slowly, “You and me.”

She had died too. Whatever had come out of that pod wasn't her. Not anymore. 

She was numb, making her way out of the vault. The skeletons, the giant cockroaches, barely registered. There was only her pain, only her vow to his corpse to find Shaun, who had been the light of his life. She considered, briefly, putting the gun she found to her head. The muzzle was against her temple when she heard his voice, telling her that that was the coward's way out. She had collapsed into tears again, wondering how long before she would forget what he sounded like.

But she made it to the surface.

When her eyes adjusted to the light outside, revealing the wreckage of the world that was left, she screamed – the sound reverberating through her, through the dead trees, scattering the patched birds nearby into flight.

And the Wasteland trembled.


End file.
